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Subject: laughter room
Replies: 15 Views: 444
anshul26 15.05.11 - 11:31am
just laugh forget ur tears *
anshul26 15.05.11 - 11:31am
A British soldier ran up to a nun
Out of breath : Please hide me under your skirt. I'll explain U later.
Nun agreed.
Moments later 2 Military Police ran up & asked, Sister, did u see a soldier?
Nun : He went that way.
After the MPs left, the soldier crawled out from her skirt & said, I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq.
Nun : I understand completely.
Soldier added : I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!
Nun : If you'd looked a little higher, you would've seen a pair of ba11s, too. I don't want to go to Iraq either.:O =)). *
anshul26 15.05.11 - 11:34am
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, Take this jar home and bring back a sample tomorrow. The next day the
85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.
Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.
The doctor was shocked! You asked your neighbor?
The old man replied, Yep, none of us could get the jar open. *
anshul26 15.05.11 - 02:44pm
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you.
To which his wife responds: He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!! *
anshul26 15.05.11 - 04:42pm
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: The driver just insulted me!
The man says: You go right up there and tell him off go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you. *
anshul26 15.05.11 - 04:47pm
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, I slept with your mother! The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!
The other says, Go home dad youre drunk. *
anshul26 15.05.11 - 04:56pm
My grandfather always said, Don't watch your money; watch your health. So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. *
12martha 30.05.11 - 08:36am
Hahahaha....anshul cnt stop laughing didnt kno ur dis crazy.i lov this' lol *
12martha 30.05.11 - 09:12am
Peter a civilized guy married a primitive gal 4rm da village nd wen he makes love 2ha,da wife said 2him u hve a big pumping machinend peter replies 'yep baby am da only1 hu hs such a machine here'afta sumdyz peter went 4a journey nd left his wife.his frend Alex came 2visit n finds da wife alone then made love 2ha.wen peter returned hme da wife told hm 'u lied 2me hun Alex has a similar machine infact its bigger beter nd sweeter than urs il go 2him' *
anshul26 30.05.11 - 09:24am
lol maratha u are more crazy hahahahaha good 1 liked it too *
anshul26 30.05.11 - 09:37am
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman,
I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle.
Do you think it will work? she asks.
It's worth a try. he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.
After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, Father, you're not going to believe this..
What? asks the priest, what happened?.
You gave birth to a child!.
But that's impossible! says the priest.
I just did the operation, insists the doctor, it's a miracle! Here's your baby.
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says,
Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father. The son says,
What do you mean, you're not my father? The priest replies,
I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.. *
anshul26 30.05.11 - 09:41am
This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, Sweetie, why don't you give me a ?
What? You're crazy! she said.
Look, don't worry, he said. It will be quick, I promise you.
Nooooooo! Someone may see us, a neighbor, anybody...
At this time of the night no one will show up. Come on, sweetie, I really need it.
I've already said NO, and NO is final!
Honey, it'll just be a really small blowie... I know you like it too.
NO!!! I've said NO!!!
Desperately, he says, My love, don't be like that. I promise you I love you and I really need this .
At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown and her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes she says: Dad says, 'Dammit, give him the or I'll have to blow him but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom b*tton so the rest of the family can get some sleep.' *
12martha 30.05.11 - 12:23pm
Wawawa!!this1 is d*mn crazy.goodnes anshul..?hahahaha *
12martha 30.05.11 - 01:14pm
A certain couple hu wa in courtship went 4 a counseling session 2their pastor/teacher.then the priest started,''if u wnt 2enjoy romantic love,neva do it wid a policeman she/he wil say HANDS UPneva try an accountant she wil sayEVEN HERE IT MUST BALANCEor a doctor hu will shoutNEXT PATIENTa pastor is better he wil say GIVE ME,ooh4GIVE ME but alwz enjoy love with a teacher hu wil say?AGAIN,REPEAT AGAIN,AGAIN &AGAAAAAANand finishes by saying VERY GOOD! a VERY GOOD TRIAL,TRY AGAIN!! THAANX & KEEP IT UP! WOW!unfortunately 4da couple the guy was a Doctor nd da lady ws a teacher she looked at him nd started crying sayingbt pastor he is a doctornd da reply was it cnt wok 4both of u,bt thank God am a pastor nd also a teacher..am not married c*m darling nd b my wife i love u after al we'r both teachers.and she kissed da pastor nd said 2ha fiance bye baby its bcoz ur a doctor i love him(pst) *
anshul26 30.05.11 - 02:16pm
there will be more jokes coming up maratha which will make u pee in ur panty hahahaha *
12martha 1.06.11 - 06:01pm
Cant wait 2pee if i hve to.lolest *
