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Subject: smile please
Replies: 28 Views: 572
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:34am
Angry Boss: Have you ever seen an owl?
Employee: (looking down) No Sir...
Boss: Don't look down. Look at me. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:35am
Santa asks Priest: Why did god make women so beautiful?
Priest: So that you will love them.
Santa thinks for a short time...
Santa: But why did God make them so dumb?
Priest: So that they will love you. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:35am
A Sardar Doctor and Pundit loved same girl.
Pundit started giving an apple to the girl everyday.
Sardar Doctor asked: WHY ??
Pundit: An apple a day keeps the doctor away! *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:36am
Santa: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?
Banta: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:37am
Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.
Banta: Is this dog faithful ?
Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:38am
My sweet girlfriend had habit of biting her fingernails. She started doing YOGA to treat the problem. Soon her finger-nails started growing normally.
Seeing this, I asked if yoga had totally cured her problem.
No, she replied with a funny sweet smile, but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:39am
Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, clean ing home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:40am
A Very Funny beautiful girl was a college student.
Once Very Funny Girl comes late to class.
Teacher: Why are you late?
Very Funny Girl : One boy was following me, sir.
Teacher: So, What?
Very Funny Girl : That boy was walking very slow. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:40am
Judge asks a little Kid: Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?
Kid: No, my mummy beats me.
Judge: Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.
Kid: No, my daddy beats me too.
Judge: Well then, who do you want to live with?
Kid: I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody !!! *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:42am
Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?
Funny Girlfriend: It is sufficient for me, but how will you survive? *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:43am
A Funny man & his wife go to a coffee house. Funny man buys 2 cups of coffee.
Funny Man: Drink quickly... drink quickly... before it gets cold.
Wife: But why...
Funny Man: They charge Rs. 50 for hot coffee and Rs 100 for cold coffee. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:44am
A French husband was returning home after cremating his wife.
He sees heavy lightning and thunderstorm in the sky.
Husband thinks: She must have reached there. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:44am
Teacher to Student: Kid, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy from him?
Student: No, teacher, it's about the same dog! *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:46am
Santa was weeping at a grave, Why did you die? Why did you die? Your death ruined my life.
Banta: For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent? Wife? or Girlfriend ?
Santa: My wifes first husband. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:46am
A funny accountant visits a museum with a Sardar Ji.
Accountant: This painting is 500 years and 20 days old.
Sardar: Amazing! Where did you get this exact information?
Accountant: I was here 20 days ago. The guide told me that the painting was 500 years old. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:48am
Santa: Why do you close your eyes while playing the piano?
Banta: I can't see the agony of the audience. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:48am
Laloo's Son: Dad, how much does it cost to get married.
Funny Laloo: I never calculated, I am still paying for it. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 08:50am
American Girl: When my grandfather died he left 10 million dollars.
Indian Girl: When my grandfather died he left 20 million dollars.
Pakistani Girl: Thats nothing, When my grandfather died he left the whole world. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 09:03am
Right in the middle of lovemaking, the husband dies of a heart attack. As the funeral arrangements are being made, the mortician informs the widow that he cannot get rid of her dead husbands rigor mortis hard-on which is sticking straight up in the air and if they dont do something, it will look odd in the coffin at the funeral.
The widow tells the guy to cut it off and stick it up her dear departeds . The mortician cant believe his ears but the widow is adamant, so he proceeds. During the funeral, friends and relatives of the dead man were concerned to see a tear in the corner of his eye, but the widow assured them that there was no cause to be alarmed.
Just before the casket is closed, the widow leans in and whispers in the dead mans ear, It HURTS, doesnt it? *
16may 15.08.11 - 03:20pm
AN ARAB WAS INTERVIEWED AT US CHEKPOINT:
interviewer: name pls?
arab: abdul aziz
interviewer: s*x?
arab: 6x a week
interviewer: i mean male or female
arab: doesn't matter,sometimes camel
interviewer: holy cow!
arab: yes cow and dogs too!
interviewer: oh dear!
arab: deer? no deer! they run fast..
*
anshul26 15.08.11 - 03:25pm
Which is the smallest hotel in the world?
v*gina INN. It can accomodate only one standing guest with his luggage hanging outside. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 03:33pm
Lady was scolding her maid for her inefficiency..
Angry maid : At least I m better than u in the bed.
Lady (amazed) : And my husband told u this ?
Maid : No, the DRIVER *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 03:34pm
He came 2 me 1 nite
explored my body
licked
s*cked
swa11owed
& had his fill
wen satisfied he left
I was hurt
fkING MOSQUITO
U Dirty Mind *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 03:36pm
Father : which part of the body goes to the heaven first ?
Kid : legs
Father : why ?
Kid : coz I see mom every night with her legs up & screeming
-oh
god ! I am in heaven. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 03:39pm
Man was lying nude on the beach, A s*xy babe starts
playing tabla on his b*tts.
Man: What r u doing?
Girl: Playing tabla.
Man turNs other side & said: Can u play the flute? *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 03:40pm
If u have 2 ba11s between ur legs,then u r a man,but if u have 4
ba11s between ur legs ,
dont thinku r a superman,theres someone fking u. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 03:50pm
A chinese doctor says a woman has 5 rooms :-
Face is Showroom
Breast is Playroom
Stomach is Store room
v*gina is a Guest room
is a Emergency room. *
anshul26 15.08.11 - 03:55pm
A Girl Having An Affair With A One Legged Man And Finally Got Marries With Him
One Day She Wrote A Letter To Her Mother: My Husband Only Has One Foot.
Her Mother Replied: You Are Lucky Baby, Your Father Has Only 5 Inches *
winxxx 18.08.11 - 01:07pm
*
